Filed under: Thoughts
As we ‘graduate’ into more mature adults, we all have internal conversations which kick in and help us navigate through situations we have been through. In babies & toddlers it includes basic physical functions like smiling, laughing, crying and hunger and aversion to pain and all that jazz.
As young adults, we have these too and most of the times when we’ve made up our minds, we don’t change it; we fight to the very end believing what we think is right.
We can’t see it ourselves though and if we are not careful and not have mentors or guides to smack us back into the right way of thinking, we will continue down this spiral of thought which we think is right but might not be right…
What is “right” anyway? I guess that’s the other ‘grey’ area. I will have different standards from you and you from the next person we meet. The ultimate escalation of this is played out in wars between countries. No one wants to budge and the one who ‘wins’ takes all the credit and fame and fortune. But sometimes the ‘losing’ country wins. Just because you are the loudest or the crudest or the most aggresive doesn’t make you the winner.
From an outsider’s point of view you will look extremely foolish, messed up in your thoughts and ultimately, wrong.
But back to my point of where differing people have differing standards. No two person has the exact same standards and this will only lead to conflict.
The thing here is to resolve a conflict with both parties THINKING that they have won. That’s the ideal isn’t it? In Chinese, there’s this saying which goes something like “leading the person down the stage”; loosely deciphered, it means to let the person realize their own foolishness and come down from their lofty stage of being, in their eyes, right.
Conversations from last night come to mind. The classic example of men vs women shopping. Men go straight to the shop they want to purchase stuff from where as girls get distracted. A friend commented that this is because men were evolutionarily hunters and women, gatherers. Men had to focus on the hunt and gauge if they had the skill and experience enough to bring down prey. Women on the other hand had to fling their choices far and wide just because of the nature of the greens.
With that story in mind, a lot of guys I’ve met along life are just that; they are hunters. They have an opinion and they stick to it tooth and nail. Females tend to congregate (crowd-source to the futurists) and comfort each other and give each other ideas.
I just have to say, the time and era for we as humans to just stick to a single way of thinking and a certain narrow mindedness is truly and thoroughly over. If we as humans (or specifically men) cannot take feedback and differing opinions in our stride, it will only cause a lot of hurt and pain to the ones closest to us. Of course, we are not called to be, termed in the loosest of ways, sissies, I’m just encouraging all of us to take inventory of our thought patterns, words and ultimately actions and continue to strive to be the best we can be.
And that sometimes may be ENTIRELY different from what we think we OUGHT to be thinking/saying/doing.
This is why, I cannot cannot cannot stress enough to have mentors and guides in our lives to put us in our place and to encourage us when we are down. These mentors ideally believe in you and will run with your ideas but when they see something going askew, they have the courage to pull us back on path. This is what modern society lacks.
With the advent of Google and Twitter where we can hear from the GREATS directly, we sometimes forget that only a person who truly cares for you speak what they really think. And usually one little “No, I don’t need to hear from you” can turn them completely off.
I guess I’ve flushed out all I want to or have to say about this topic. I find that it’s both sad & dangerous if our next generation (or even MY generation) runs fast but blindlessly and end up at the end of their lives disillusioned, disappointed and worst still, full of despair and bitterness.
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