Life is better than death. Love; greater than either…


Why do we fall? (Part 2)
4 January, 2009, 1:44 am
Filed under: Love, Thoughts

Read Part One here.

So BGRs… The classic boy meets girl story. See the saying in itself implies something… It does not say girl meets boy. Boy meets girl. It’s the boy who makes the first moves. (Cause if the girl does it, the boy is too dumb to notice; and when the boy does it, its usually so stupid and clumsy, the girl cannot help but laugh and notice.).

But anyway, boy meets girl. Boy falls in love… Very easily. A male falls in love very easily, and falls out of love very easily. A girl on the other hand, guards her heart, holds her cards close and when she falls, falls helplessly in love into a spiral of suction so powerful; she usually doesn’t fall out of love. Statistics show that men tend to remarry when they are widowed and women, otherwise.

So am I saying, to men, any girl could be ‘the One’? Technically saying, yes. If he is not careful, he falls for other women. That’s why men tend to frolick and have affairs. They share their intimacy with someone other than their wives but women on the other hand would probably give a huge middle finger to a man who tries to seduce her for an affair. (Let’s just say there are no problems in their marriage.) To a male, the chase is the best part; it is when he is most creative, most on the ball, most ‘switched on’, most willing to give in, most willing to put on a brave face, most willing to compose a song, most willing to spend time with her, most willing to LISTEN…

And when he’s not careful, the chase is off. He finds new prey… Affairs begin.

The basics of human instincts are cruel. What happens when the chase is off? The female suddenly realizes the husband is a lazy slob, too lazy to cook, do the dishes, doesn’t even earn his ‘rewards’ anymore. Just demands it… Flowers? Don’t even think about it? Compose songs? Pffft… that was gone the moment we were an ‘item’.

Then she realizes she fell for her own version of her lover. Her fantasy, her made-up vision of a man but not necessarily the man himself. She fell for the sweet words, the song (oh my gosh, he wrote it for me?), the attention, the ‘love’, the tenderness of his heart, the barrage of text messages, his longing to be with her all the time…

But here are a few questions which might gauge the amount of love/like/level of commitment you have for your potential partner…
Of course these are not be all end alls and by all means feel free to comment… 😀

The ‘solution’ for a man is this:
1. What do you see in her that separates her from other girls? (If you can’t go beyond her boobs, butt, hair and body shape; don’t bother – watch Madagascar 2 for a prime example)
2. Would you compose a song for her when she’s 80?
3. If she lost all her limbs (and body parts); would you still love her?

The solution for a woman is this:
1. If he didn’t compose a song, wasn’t smart, wasn’t rich, didn’t have a sweet mouth, ditch his friends for you; would you like/love him?
2. Does he live for something bigger than himself?
3. Does he like/am willing to spend time with your family/friends?
4. If he doesn’t change in the next 50 years, will you still like/love him?

I guess there are other gauges out there and I’m all about romance and everything but love is like the flower and the bee. A flower attracts the bee and the bee flies to the flower. Sometimes there is pollen, sometimes there isn’t. Sometimes the bee get what it wants, sometimes it doesn’t. But sometimes if the bee doesn’t fly away and stays long enough, the pollen eventually comes. But sometimes the flower traps the bee and consumes the bee.

But at the end of the day, if truth be told, what I’m saying is beware of false advertising. Relationships don’t come with any guarantee and no one knows how something will turn out but just like shopping, if you shop around, you get the best price and you get a feel of the quality of item you want to purchase. Then as a wary consumer, you can differentiate between false advertising and the real deal.

So, shop around (in the loosest sense of the word) if you are single and if you are attached, hold your cards close and re-align what needs to be realigned in your relationships and prioritize the important things…

God bless!

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8 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Very well written Klo!!! 🙂

Really enjoyed reading ur thoughts and analysis on BGR!

*and Madagascar 2 was really good too 😀

Comment by Nydia

Hi Kevin, Great post. Good points to think about. Tk u

Comment by Joanne

NyDZ > haha thnx! congratssss on YOUR wedding!!! haha u rmb the mud-bath scene? lOl…

JoZ > thanx!!!

SokLeng calls this the Aunt Agony post… haha 😛

Comment by K.Lo

Very Interesting Post! =D shall add these into the black book hahahhahahahahaha

Comment by .

hey pastor lo, good word!

Comment by Natalie

haha just observations…
thanx!

Comment by K.Lo

shop around…
do you believe a person can change for some one else??

Comment by ddynasty

that’s the thing, you cannot EXPECT someone to change… but people DO and CAN change… but you should not EXPECT it because it takes a lot for a person to change and another human being will most probably NOT able to change someone… 😀

Comment by K.Lo




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