Life is better than death. Love; greater than either…

New Beginnings
9 September, 2010, 11:41 pm
Filed under: Amazed, God, People

Life this past year I must admit has been busy and hectic. At times I’ve felt like giving up but being young and full of ambition, I knew that’s not an option.

I’ve always made choices and stuck with it no matter what the circumstances are. Be it family, love, relationships, friendships, work, activity, games, shopping – anything and everything for that matter. If I’ve made up my mind, nothing can change it – I will pummel through. I might be wrong but I will still pummel through. It might be tough but I will pummel. Some call it pride, I call it stubbornness and true strength.

Don’t get me wrong, I will cry at the drop of a hat and when I see things which touch my heart, no doubt I will show emotion. I think emotion and having a strong will is two entirely different things.

Anyway, so this past year have seen a lot of pummeling, a lot of what-ifs and a lot of I-don’t-have-no-choice. But you know what, at the end of that, it all paid off.

I read somewhere that Gen Y-ers start their career pretty late – I am one of those.

I just don’t see the point of rushing everything – life is meant to be enjoyed at this age (and at any age for that matter). I am glad I have spent this amount of time in a “not-real” job – I don’t think I would have it any other way if my life were to repeat again. The things I’ve learnt – the people I’ve met – the stories I’ve heard – the dresses I’ve seen – the pride, the humility, the hurt, the joy – meeting people this way has opened my senses to a whole new way of thin-slicing situations and people.

Without this experience, I don’t think I would be who I am today.

A job is a job. A career is the same. They may come quick and they may fade quick. Money. That too will come and go. But the only thing that we constantly have to treasure and keep are relationships. When you’re out of a job, out of money and diseased – what remains? Who remains is the question.

Nothing else matters when you have nothing – but that hand rested upon yours, crossed over your shoulders. You know that at the end another human will get you your heart’s needs.

The world is a social place and we have to understand that everything revolves around people. The finance industry is made up of people. If you take the humans out, the stock market will collapse.

The super important and essential part of our lives is relationships with people – and this is the key message for me for the past few years. The ability to build relationships – to learn and to refine my approaches. All this is crucial. I do not regret a single minute.

But now I look forward to start my career and in my new role in an equally new and exciting industry.

Thanks for reading and I hope to journal again soon.

Love y’all!
God bless!


God of Miracles
21 August, 2009, 6:33 pm
Filed under: Amazed, God

This is something that I want to put on writing for a very long time, since Hillsong Conference 2009 actually…

So I was volunteering in Kids as usual and got to talking to one of the parents as she was dropping off her kid which was in my group.

I don’t know what on Earth we were talking about (which is like 90% of my conversations lol). What I do remember is as follows (P for the parent ):

P: You know what I got healed of cancer myself. I’ll show you the doctor’s letter too and everything but I didn’t bring my bible today.

So I was like yeah of course, with two kids and the tight schedule of Conference, who carries a big Bible around.

P: Oh you know what?! I did bring it!

She then proceeds to taking out an envelop from the Bible bag and handed me the letter.

I read the letter.

It was an official letter alright with medical letterheads and everything and it began with, “Dear Mrs. X, Unfortunately you have been diagnosed with cancer of the oesaphagus.”

It went on to explain the reasons that came to the conclusion and how it will spread and what medications are available for it and all the medical stuff.

The last paragraph went something like this, “Please prepare your family for the future as your husband will not have a wife in six months time and your children without their mother. Yours sincerely, Dr. X.”

I’ve never read a “Death Note” before and in my hands was one that sounds just like one if they do exist. I track backed to the date of the letter and it was March 2008. Simple mathematics put her 9 months “due”. And there she was standing right in front of me. As real as the computer screen you are reading this from and as real as the mouse you are clicking.

I was like “Wow!” You hear of miracles from like Africa and India and even China but I’ve never met someone I know personally who has been healed from a “death sentence”. She was like, “As soon as I got the news I rallied my church and we prayed and prayed and believed for healing.”

Through various visions and dreams she’s got confirmation after confirmation of her healing and she told me herself she’s never felt better in her life… 9 months past her “due date”…

Truly amazing what faith in a very real God can do I guess. But beyond that faith is a supernatural God with supernatural reasonings that we will never ever know. It’s amazing how things just ‘work’ sometimes… Truly amazing…

God bless!

P.S. On another note, apparently my grandfather is healed of nose cancer but I cannot verify this and all though; my uncle told me in an SMS. But if he really did get healed of a CONFIRMED case of cancer than PRAISE GOD! Sometimes people think Christians are humans living life “wishfully thinking” that “god” is in their midst but truth be knownst, some Christians are the most thorough and detailed and skeptical people I know… Me included…

Thoughts of the Night…
11 June, 2009, 11:20 pm
Filed under: Amazed, Thoughts

I was thinking about my mom tonight; not least due to the fact that she was sitting right in front me during our ramen dinner in Crowes Nest.

She’s not a CEO of a multinational company.

She’s not a business owner.

She doesn’t even own her own car or house (Well, she does but that doesn’t really fit into this entry; so for all intents and purposes, she doesn’t own anything substantial).

She’s not a go-getter; she’s definitely not a career woman.

Her relationships with her friends are not awesome, nor are they great. In fact, they are dismal, distant, indifferent. Sometimes even bordering negative (e.g. I do not want to hang out with my so-called friends).

She does not have a hobby nor is she passionate about anything in particular.

She cooks well, but nothing a person with a few extra cookbooks cannot outdo.

She’s not getting prettier with age. Her hair is a nice brown and cropped neat and short though. Definitely a chic and modern look to it.

She’s got style for one, and a pretty tall figure (for a lady of Asian persuasion).

She knows her brands but swing by a few Ksubi or Sass & Bide or Camilla Marc and she can only manage to exude a blank look.

But one thing she’s got that I think by far sets her apart from other women her age. She’s got my sister and me. I will never ever forget how she sacrificed her youth, her career, her passions and her hobbies for us. To pick us up diligently from school every day. To cook for us, to clean for us. She even learnt driving for our sake! How does one FEEL like picking up her children every day? Definitely her own feelings are buried so deep down that she lets responsibility boil up and her feelings decrease.

Friends? Don’t even think about it. My children come first. I have to make sure they succeed, be the person I could never be. A better life, a life which they can choose and contribute to society…

Everytime I go out with my mom I think of all these things…

Now both my sister and I are ‘grown-up’ we feel things and we can voice our opinions but sometimes, we cannot. I cannot. I think of all the things my mother has sacrificed for me and I can’t help but buy her dinner or buy her that dress she longingly looks at in the shops. Sure she nags and she brings up stuff that annoys me but wasn’t I annoying when I wasn’t at the designate spot at the corner of school where she was supposed to pick me up? Wasn’t I annoying when I was sick; bed-ridden, had to be cared for? Was I annoying then? And what did she do?

She didn’t raise her voice, she didn’t complain, she didn’t said no. All she did was look into my eyes with compassion and say, “It’s OK, Son… Mom’s here for you…”

I hope this has opened your eyes to the way we treat those most important to ourselves.

God bless!

090407 – Today
7 April, 2009, 11:15 pm
Filed under: Amazed, God, Hillsong, Thoughts

Had Connect Group tonight and I always feel good after Connect Group. It feels good encouraging people, listening to people and introducing new belief systems and change into people’s lives. Its cause when you teach and minister that you get taught and ministered to at the same time. If you don’t give, you don’t receive. And when you are using your words to explain and strengthen someone else, guess who hears it the loudest? Yes, its yourself.

I feel like a lot of people are getting on my nerves nowadays. Usually younger people. Younger as in age. But I know of some young people who are mature.

Maybe I’ll rephrase it, immature people are getting on my nerves. Of course there are adults who are immature.

Let’s dissect this (by the way, this wasn’t what we discussed in Connect Group); what immaturity looks like…
1. The world revolves around you, you and you.
2. You have no sense of others. Seriously.
3. You have no sense of right and wrong.
4. You are impatient (Priorities upside down).
5. And you do not share.
6. You do not communicate well.

Sounds like Cubbyhouse on the weekend! Its OK if you are 0-2 and act immature cause you ARE immature. But what really irks me is when young adults act immature.

What is the cure?

But back to CG, we talked about having ‘No Excuses’ today! Woohuh! It was pretty good I reckon and it always amazes me how the Holy Spirit just reminds me of timely and relevant bible verses and truths that I can encourage and minister my group with. Thank you God!

God bless!

Proverbs 3:9-10
5 February, 2009, 5:26 pm
Filed under: Amazed, God, Thoughts

So I was reading through my devotional material (Destined To Reign) yesterday (it’s my best way of focusing myself on God and with that opening my heart to his DIRECT voice and teaching) and came across Proverbs 3:9-10…

Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine…

I admit that I’ve been slacking off in this area of my life for some months now and getting back on the financial saddle of Christianity is an immediately rewarding one. Coming off of the devotion yesterday was this hagah business; of how you should SPEAK the promises of God not just believe it.

Then continuing on today, in Mark 11:23 Jesus says this…

“I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours…”

So, apparently, there are 3 “says” and one “believe” in this verse. (The last “say” is “whatever you ask for in prayer”).

I don’t know about you but most of the time I don’t proclaim/declare the verses in the Bible. I know it in my head and I read it and I quote it sometimes in conversations but I don’t declare it to myself. It’s too Anthony Robbins I tell myself, its just purely positive thinking if I proclaim it… If I do it, God will not honour me because it’s my own work and not God’s…

But the thing is the principle works. God cannot go against His principles even when man uses them without Him. Anthony Robbins, positive thinkers, motivational speakers all use the principle of speaking success and wealth to your self. Of course in the short term it works but when people go deeper and ‘attain’ what they seek for, they find that there is no reason beyond it. There’s no meaning… And sometimes they get so obsessed they lose sight of what has to be important to them… Using a God-principle without God is like setting up an Ikea shelf without the manual; and end up using it as a table. It works well as a table but it was designed to work as a shelf… It may work fine but sooner or later, flaws will appear. That and it will never realize its full potential as a shelf!

But enough of analogies…
So before I left home today, I hagah-ed Proverbs 3:9-10 on Facebook and to myself…

After passing my driving Knowledge test (I last ‘studied’ for it in September), I was off  to lunch with Bryan then proceeded to shop for some lights today at Bunnings cause there were ads on TV promoting 10 dollar work lights! Fresh-eyed and curious, it felt like a big Wal-Mart kinda place, places that only existed on TV and we spent an hour and a little bit more exploring the place (All 30 aisles – Electrical, Spotlights, Downlights, Paint, BBQ sets, Hoses, Taps, Carpets, etc). So tossing between expensive flouroscents and other lights, I decided on a 28 dollar worklight set; tripod and 2x500W lights and everything. Good deal! The cashier rang my transaction up and it was a tad over what I budgeted. So I, as a right-conscious consumer, pointed to the rather large sign that said $28.89. After a price check and discussions with her supervisor and what nots, she took down the price and shaved a cool $10 off what was supposed to be a $38 dollar light!

I left the place knowing that I’ve saved $10 without any sales discounts or anything and it was purely because I was at the right place at the right time…

I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure my hagah-ing in the morning had something to do with it… Praise God!

Le’ts have another hagah moment right NOW…
2 Corinthians 8:9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich…

God bless!

It is granted…
5 December, 2008, 11:50 pm
Filed under: Amazed, God, Sydney, Thoughts

I came back from work tonight, like any other night for the past year and a half and checked my email eagerly like I’ve been for every day of my life since the snag a few months ago. Then I saw the email from the Immigration Department.

It read Grant something something.

I opened the PDF up; ready for anything that might surface. Good or bad.

It read… “I am pleased…”

I am pleased it read “I am pleased”. I called my Dad to give him the good news, then my mom came to the phone. They were having Connect Group. I was shouting and praising God as much as I could. I phoned my girlfriend. She picked up on the second call. She got the good news. We I made plans to get married… haha 😛

I am so so so relieved that I got this thing called Permanent Residence in Australia. It has been on the top of my mind ever since I lodged it and hit a few hurdles. Every morning I wake up it would be there, sitting, calling out at the brink of my mind. Every night as I go to  bed, it will surely be the last thing on my mind. Everytime someone asks me how my application is going, my heart sank a little and I put on a brave face; holding on to God’s separate promises to my Mom and myself. Every news article that had the word ‘immigration’ in it I would click open and read; predicting and investing my hopes (or disappointments) in any inkling, any signal of my own application.

Now, everything seems to be brighter; every idea I have seems to have life and potential to be breathed into life. I can start things now… I can live…

I can buy that aquarium and goldfish I’ve been wanting. I can join the Saturday crowds house-hunting. I can offer my future employer 5 years of my life at least. I can start my own business, I can get accredited, get recognised. I can serve God without fear or ‘what-ifs’.

But most of all I can wake up every morning with a clear head…

Praise be to you oh Lord of Heaven and Earth…

God bless!

26 October, 2008, 8:32 pm
Filed under: Amazed, Friends, Pictures

God bless!