Life is better than death. Love; greater than either…

Newtown Shootings – Thoughts From The Opposite Of The World
15 December, 2012, 10:28 am
Filed under: Love, Online news, People, Thoughts

Good morning.

My body clock’s alarm rang and I stirred this morning round about 7am. Reached for my iPhone as usual to check the time and saw two notifications from the NY Times App which accelerated my ability to awake fully. “22 People Dead” it said, “Shooting in the US” – I clicked through the Notifications to read the full details of how a young man walked into a school his mother was teaching in, shot his mother, shot her very young students, shot the Principal and other members of staff, before taking his own life.

This is nothing short of a tragedy.

As I reeled from the effects of the journalistic words of the NY Times article, I, like you, started thinking of reasons this could have happened. Was the young man’s mother overworked? Did he hate his mother for not being there for him? Did he misunderstand that his the care and attention that she showed her students brings home the bacon? Why are there still guns in public spaces in America? Is America the only Western Democracy to still allow weapons that freely? What are the solutions, if any, that can be deployed in this instance? An outright ban of weapons in the States? A witch-hunt of all young men whose mother teaches kindergarten?

As my mind raced ahead and came back to explore different rabbit holes of thinking, and raced ahead again, I have two solid points I keep coming back to:

1. Archaic Rules

The right to bear arms, I understand through my 30 years of experience watching Hollywood movies, is in the American Constitution. I bring you to the attention of (Wikipedia) why this amendment was made in the Constitution:

“In no particular order, early American settlers viewed the right to arms and/or the right to bear arms and/or state militias as important for one or more of these purposes:

– deterring tyrannical government;
– repelling invasion;
– suppressing insurrection;
– facilitating a natural right of self-defense;
– participating in law enforcement;
– enabling the people to organize a militia system.

Besides “facilitating a natural right of self-defense” – I don’t see how carrying a handgun could, for example, deter a tyrannical government, or say repel an invasion in this day and age.

This, fundamentally, is an archaic rule for an archaic time. I am in no position to judge as I do not fully understand the workings of the American legal system, but, fundamentally, this, in my opinion, is an outdated ruling.

2. Weapons and Community

Another point I want to make is that weapons, if you want it to be effective, need to be owned and used in a safe, disciplined and regimented environment. The people of old (circa “right to bear arms” era) were bound by religious and cultural norms (not to say that that was particularly effective), martial arts students are bound by discipline and highly organised competition outlets of their power and skill, soldiers are trained to be highly respectful of their weapons and even gang members are bound by a strict code of conduct,. In all of these cases, access to a weapon is not given until the member of the particular community has reached a certain level of maturity and trust – sometimes taking decades of going through the checks and balances.

In modern life, these checks and balances are eroding. The family unit is breaking apart and there is minimal supervision given by parents. This is the fault of society and our own greed, culminating over the past century, addicted to accelerated growth. Being so engrossed in work, just to survive, is being used as an excuse by parents – “Day care will be good enough.” – “Surely the school will let me know when my child is misbehaving.” Sadly, when the warning bells sound, it might just be too late.

Do I think that guns are dangerous? Yes.
Do guns cut short people’s lives unnecessarily? Yes.

However, I don’t think that guns in itself are the problem here. If you take away the guns, there will be something else used – you don’t have to kill someone to take their life. What motivates a human being to murder another human being? Hate. Hate is the only thing that will motivate a person enough to even consider taking someone’s life. So if hate is the reason these shootings keep occurring  in whatever form it may be – hate of society, hate of “the system”, hate of people close to you, what is the solution?

The opposite of hate. Love. Genuine love. Care. Concern. A genuine interest and desire to help, assist people. A selfless act, for the greater good. A sense of belonging, a sense of community and true communication – a sense of my voice matters in all this. A sense of contribution. A sense of actionable change, and a sense of, “Hey, I made this change happen.” These, and many others, acts and characteristics rooted in love, is the way forward.

This is the solution.


Why do we fall? (Part 2)
4 January, 2009, 1:44 am
Filed under: Love, Thoughts

Read Part One here.

So BGRs… The classic boy meets girl story. See the saying in itself implies something… It does not say girl meets boy. Boy meets girl. It’s the boy who makes the first moves. (Cause if the girl does it, the boy is too dumb to notice; and when the boy does it, its usually so stupid and clumsy, the girl cannot help but laugh and notice.).

But anyway, boy meets girl. Boy falls in love… Very easily. A male falls in love very easily, and falls out of love very easily. A girl on the other hand, guards her heart, holds her cards close and when she falls, falls helplessly in love into a spiral of suction so powerful; she usually doesn’t fall out of love. Statistics show that men tend to remarry when they are widowed and women, otherwise.

So am I saying, to men, any girl could be ‘the One’? Technically saying, yes. If he is not careful, he falls for other women. That’s why men tend to frolick and have affairs. They share their intimacy with someone other than their wives but women on the other hand would probably give a huge middle finger to a man who tries to seduce her for an affair. (Let’s just say there are no problems in their marriage.) To a male, the chase is the best part; it is when he is most creative, most on the ball, most ‘switched on’, most willing to give in, most willing to put on a brave face, most willing to compose a song, most willing to spend time with her, most willing to LISTEN…

And when he’s not careful, the chase is off. He finds new prey… Affairs begin.

The basics of human instincts are cruel. What happens when the chase is off? The female suddenly realizes the husband is a lazy slob, too lazy to cook, do the dishes, doesn’t even earn his ‘rewards’ anymore. Just demands it… Flowers? Don’t even think about it? Compose songs? Pffft… that was gone the moment we were an ‘item’.

Then she realizes she fell for her own version of her lover. Her fantasy, her made-up vision of a man but not necessarily the man himself. She fell for the sweet words, the song (oh my gosh, he wrote it for me?), the attention, the ‘love’, the tenderness of his heart, the barrage of text messages, his longing to be with her all the time…

But here are a few questions which might gauge the amount of love/like/level of commitment you have for your potential partner…
Of course these are not be all end alls and by all means feel free to comment… 😀

The ‘solution’ for a man is this:
1. What do you see in her that separates her from other girls? (If you can’t go beyond her boobs, butt, hair and body shape; don’t bother – watch Madagascar 2 for a prime example)
2. Would you compose a song for her when she’s 80?
3. If she lost all her limbs (and body parts); would you still love her?

The solution for a woman is this:
1. If he didn’t compose a song, wasn’t smart, wasn’t rich, didn’t have a sweet mouth, ditch his friends for you; would you like/love him?
2. Does he live for something bigger than himself?
3. Does he like/am willing to spend time with your family/friends?
4. If he doesn’t change in the next 50 years, will you still like/love him?

I guess there are other gauges out there and I’m all about romance and everything but love is like the flower and the bee. A flower attracts the bee and the bee flies to the flower. Sometimes there is pollen, sometimes there isn’t. Sometimes the bee get what it wants, sometimes it doesn’t. But sometimes if the bee doesn’t fly away and stays long enough, the pollen eventually comes. But sometimes the flower traps the bee and consumes the bee.

But at the end of the day, if truth be told, what I’m saying is beware of false advertising. Relationships don’t come with any guarantee and no one knows how something will turn out but just like shopping, if you shop around, you get the best price and you get a feel of the quality of item you want to purchase. Then as a wary consumer, you can differentiate between false advertising and the real deal.

So, shop around (in the loosest sense of the word) if you are single and if you are attached, hold your cards close and re-align what needs to be realigned in your relationships and prioritize the important things…

God bless!

In between CNY and Easter…
13 February, 2008, 10:23 am
Filed under: Love, RanDom, Thoughts

There is this celebration of life, common interests, common goals…

Destinies of lives, time spent together, time spent apart, reconciliation…

A time of gazing, thinking, reflecting, pondering, digesting, ruminating…

A time of asking questions who and why and where and what…

And answers of ‘Just because…’

Celebrations of friendships, of intimacy… Of love…

Lessons of Love…
20 September, 2007, 1:26 pm
Filed under: Love

Paul and Andi Andrew spoke at PowerHouse’s Love series last night. They gave us lessons to learn in love during the three periods of our lives. These are obviously what they deem as the most important one-liners and there are obviously plenty plenty more to learn in our lives and the lives of our friends, partners and future partners… 🙂

The Single Years…
Andi – Falling 100% in love with Jesus is not a cop-out.
Paul – A cause can keep you. It saves you from distractions, makes you more attractive and being idle is just plain dangerous.

The Dating Years…
Andi – Communication really is the key. There’s gotta be a balance in communication.
Paul – The benefits of boundaries (2 Tim 2:22)
a) Boundaries only work when they are talked about in advance
b) When they are of both your convictions
c) Boundaries only work when they are tangible

Early Marriage Years…
Andi – We all come into marriage with baggage, its what we do with it. She gave the example of ‘excess baggage’ when we check-in into an airplane, we might tend to ignore it but when the bags are weighed, and we are found over, our lovely lady-at-the-counter will ask us to pay up. So we need to deal with the baggage before we get to the airport.
Paul – The power of ‘One’. Lots of couples compromise for disunity and sometimes it shows for example when Mom disciplines one way and Dad disciplines another way, the child learns to manipulate and play with the disunity.

Yeah, so those were from the notes I took last night and I think these are really great tips. We’re all in these 3 categories and would be looking to change the situations someday or another unless you’re married of course haha! 😛

Anyway, more later!
God bless!